My Dad

Something’s you just don’t appreciate about your parents until you become one. Last night, everyone was asleep except for me who was quietly sneaking around putting up folded laundry. This made me wonder how many more times will I do this as a parent? How many times did my parents do the same for me without anybody ever knowing? I thought of my dad, someone who works without talking (Unlike myself). I should say, after 24 years of asking and borderline interrogating my dad, I know a fraction of his life story. He is not one to tell his accomplishments, so I figured as his very talkative daughter I could share some of the few but great stories I know. As the oldest of four kids he learned responsibility young. His first job was picking cotton for something like 50 cents an hour. He used this money to pay cash for his first car, a gray corvette. He was the first one in his family to go to college. He put himself through on an ROTC scholarship. He also ran track all while completing his engineering degree at Auburn University. War Eagle! At one point in college he lived in a condemned house that had rodents living in it, so he outlined the path to and from his mattress on the floor with bug repellant so he could sleep in the house. I am not sure I could say I would do that just to be at college. After graduation and flight school he flew harriers for the USMC for 21 years and retired a lieutenant colonel. This further strengthened his discipline and work ethic. At the age of 67, he can still put me to shame doing yard work or any other kind of work for that matter. Once he drove from Montreal Canada to MHC NC and only stopped for my mom to pee. Thank God I was not on that trip. I often think of my dad when I eat a good meal because he is not only an impressive cook but hands down can grill the best steak on the east coast and arguably all of America. As long as I can remember, our house has always had good food, our backyard has always had a garden, and our closets have always had a gun. My dad tends to act like a real bad ass but when I saw him hold my daughter I realized he is actually quit the softy. My dad has survived a heart attack, an aortic aneurysm (which he drove himself to the hospital when he was having), cancer, E.coli, and 2 hip replacements. As the most stubborn person I know, I think he may very well out live us all. My dad taught me a few things that I am still working on perfecting: work more than you talk, what others think about you is never as important as what you think about yourself, and never never never give up.

Different Parenting Styles

       Normally I am very careful to not fall into the trap of criticizing other parents because I know we are all one step away from being "that parent". Each of us has been caught in that dreaded moment where you just don’t know what to say. For example sometimes your child is noticeably underdressed/overdressed for the weather. Just a few weeks ago we had a random hot day and while at the park I had to strip Maddie down to her diaper and t-shirt because her little jeans looked more ridiculous than a half dressed baby on the loose. With that said, this morning Maddie and I were at Target and I witnessed an incident that called for Supernanny. I love Supernanny, but often I wonder how it ever gets to that point before the parents call for help. Anyways, "target mom" looked concerned when I turned down the aisle with Maddie in tow. I was trying not to stare at her child who was about 5 years old and was having a hissy fit in the middle of the toy section. The mothers reply verbatim was “you know that my little pony you got this morning, it is going in time-out for 2 days". I was thinking to myself, your 5 year old child is freaking out and you are putting her toy at home in time-out? What is that? I mean I understand people being against spanking, but now you are against putting the child in time-out. So you are putting her toys in time-out. That is the most ridiculous thing I have heard. That child has lived without the toy for her whole life till this morning so I would suspect giving it up another 2 days is not life altering. Needless to say her behavior did not change and we left because I did not want Maddie getting any ideas.

 Also recently, while watching 19 Kids and counting a preview for the show Toddlers and Tiaras came on. I am not sure if I was more concerned for the child or disturbed by the parent. I admit, I have watched some of this show before out of curiosity and it was beyond words. These parents are teaching their daughters to put on fake hair, fake tans, fake teeth and fake nails. Even if the child does win, you just taught them you had to be completely altered and fake to win. Without beauty, you are not good enough. Plus the biggest thing that baffles me is how much money those mothers spend. I wonder if they took all the money they would normally spend on pageants and invest it in education or orphanages or sending their child on trips to discover the world, how much more of a long term investment would that be. I am not against all pageants by any means but clearly there is a healthy balance that these moms have crossed. So we often hear comments like "what is wrong with kids today" my answer is, the parents who raised them. We have taken God out of schools, well talk about a recipe for disaster. Plus, half of all children have divorced parents which statistically has a greater impact than a child experiencing a death of a parent. Evidently moms do not know how to handle maturational behavior in a healthy way. So what do we do to fix these problems and have children raised in nurturing families with both a mom and dad?