I never thought my child would have a severe peanut allergy...

I am hesitant to share my journey as a mom with a child of severe allergies because it is not my story alone to share and many people are quick to blame the parents in this situation. However, my hope is, this story will end with more compassion and hope for my daughter. My oldest child is now 4 and it is time to choose a school for her. Unfortunately one of the major influences in our decision making is if the school is a nut free school or not. I never saw myself on this road. I was probably at one time a person who thought all of these food allergies are a pain and do not effect me directly so whatever. Then I had my first child and in so many ways, my opinions and what I thought of the world changed overnight. She came out perfect but little, and after months of trying to get her to gain weight unsuccessfully, I switched to formula. I figured the problem with her gaining weight must have been my fault. When we introduced formula to her diet she immediately broke out in severe eczema. At the time I just assumed she unfortunately had inherited my eczema problems and she would soon out grow it as I did. However hers only seemed to get worse and worse. I was embarrassed to take this beautiful baby girl out in public because she was constantly covered in a horrific rash. People would actually ask me "what happened to her face?” no matter which creams we tried, and we tried a lot, I could never get her skin completely cleared up. Then a family member who is a pediatrician suggested allergy testing. Fast forward a few months and we had our answer. My daughter had several allergies that included the one that no parent wants to hear, peanuts. Ugh! what did I do wrong? How did this happen? I followed the book with my pregnancy. I don’t have any food allergies. What does this mean exactly? I am not responsible enough to have to prepare meals for a child with food allergies. Will we ever get to go out to eat again? These were just my thoughts on the ride home from the allergist office. The good news was, now we had an answer and after altering her diet and months of learning and experimenting, her skin looks beautiful. You would never know how bad it once was for her. The downside is, as she has grown older, I have become more aware just how much this allergy will affect our lives. Every birthday party, day of school, church nursery, holiday, and restaurant dinner requires planning. Even more of a pain is that occasional reaction I get about "why so many kids these days have allergies". To be honest, I am not sure why my child could die if she comes in contact with the smallest amount of peanut butter. I have spent much time researching this topic to prevent this from happening in my other children and there is no hard evidence. Many theories are floating around from, its caused by early exposure to peanuts, its caused by too late of exposure to peanuts, its from people being overly clean, its from our jacked up food supply and so on. Most of the strong opinions come from a non-medical person who is not affected by allergies in any way other than not being allowed to pack a PB&J in there child’s lunch. I am so sorry to create this challenge for you but may I just share my perspective as a parent with a child who has a severe peanut allergy. As a mom who has watched her child have a severe reaction and I have had to see the terror in her face while I jabbed her with an epi-pen and wonder if she was going to live or die in my arms. From my perspective, guns in a school pales in comparison to sending a child into a room filled with a substance that I know for a fact will send my child into anaphylactic shock and as a 4 year old she has to discern what is safe or not. I am amazed at the amount of people who think there child has the right to a peanut butter and jelly sandwich more than my child has the right to live. As just another mom, I ask that you use this opportunity to teach kids compassion and know that it is a luxury to make that easy staple PB&J that most of us ate everyday growing up. Not everyone will have it that easy. Mady has an appointment in March to meet with one of the leading doctors at UNC for the food initiative or "peanut trial" as its more commonly known as and hopefully she will outgrow this allergy and not live her life in fear but rather live a life of power, love and sound mind. Okay, Nap time is wrapping up. got to go.