Letter to Madalyn

The day I found out I was pregnant with you was December 20, 2009. I remember it so clearly. It was the Sunday before Christmas and there was snow on the ground. We were staying in Durham and getting ready to fly to South Africa to go see family. Within one second, my life changed and the most exciting thing became I was going to be a mom. As long as I can remember, that is what "I wanted to be when I grew up" and now it was happening! The cold turned to spring and then came the day we were able to tell your gender. You're dad and I went to the appointment and we were both filled with excitement and anticipation that we were going to find out what we were having. Within 10 seconds of starting the scan, the lady looked at me and said "it's a girl." I could not believe it, I asked her 3 times if she was sure. She said with out a doubt and that  you were not shy. I felt as if I had won the lottery. A little girl!! Spring turned to summer and my tummy grew very large. I would always feel you move around when music was playing, and I knew you would love to worship the Lord and that you would be a peacemaker. As I approached my due date, August 26, 2010, it became increasing hot outside. We all wondered when you would come and then, no surprise, on August 26 I went into labor. The following day, you graced us with your presence. Even with the pain and exhaustion, I can honestly say, it was the most amazing thing to watch you come into the world. The doctor laid you on my chest, with your head on my right side and all I could say was "oh my God". No lamaz class can prepare you to see such a miracle. At this point I realized you were ours and then the real fun began. Although there have been many sleepless nights and trips across uncharted territory, I am doing what I love. I have been to four universities and officially changed my major 5 times and will finally graduate in May with a "generic degree" because I can honestly say there is no topic I could choose to get a degree in that would measure up to getting to be a mom. Madalyn Joelle, since having you, my heart has softened and I realized how it is possible to love someone so much for no other reason except, you are my child.  This gives me a glimmer into God the father's heart who is the Creator and Perfecter of love. My heart for you Madalyn is that you will know you are made for such a time as this and will live the life you were made for and never be held back with fear. I love you to bits! You're mom.